The teacher
Possibly the most common of all lifesaving species, this particular oddity of evolution can come in almost all imaginable shapes and sizes. Broadly speaking in our club they fall into a few main categories.
Trainus Assesorus (T/A)
| Usually coloured with dark blue or navy upper body and varying degrees of floral patterning in the lower body coverings, presumable to induce fear and respect among it’s peers. Main behavioural traits involve blowing whistle & calling out it’s cry of “finishdalength” Good with children & teenagers with an unbounded optimism as to what they can accomplish. Amphibious & packed full of survival skills relating to water rescue and indeed land based life support. Can also readily examine and grade participants in the above skills, ranging from lifesaving to bronze, Award of Merit, and Distinction levels in the water and Life Support & Advanced Life Support on land. |  |
Assistan Teacherus
| A sub genus of the above, seen by many to be the developmental stage of Trainus Assesorus. Again these creatures come in all shapes and sizes and can bee seen accompanying TA on both land and in the aquatic environment. |  |
Lifeguardteeay
| Red and yellow mainly and can be found on both pool and beach settings. Amphibious and skilled in the use and instruction of many items of equipment, from spine boards, torpedo buoys to surf skis and paddle boards. A hardy creature with resistance to cold. Mainly found in pools during the winter but from April on this species can be found on all kinds of beaches. |  |
AEDTA
| Similar to the Trainus Assessorus, but has evolved to the stage of advanced equipment use. Imparts knowledge of using electronic external defibrillation machines and promotes the location of these devices in all public areas. |  |
ntatriceratops mentoreirus
(particularly dangerous)
Stuff worth looking up on line - triceratops - you might get the joke